Prototype

my heart speaks of love
of words
that my lips whisper to your eyes

my mind creates poems
of odes
that my hand writes in thin air

my soul beams with life
of joy
locked deep in forgotten dreams

of what i seek
i myself deny
fearing love
negating my existence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca9ub9rpNK4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_owc6AfSOw

"I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday you told me about the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just another lemon tree" 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkRN0DMDfZ0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hvds2AIiWLA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlUXV9ePuvM

rather have one to 'commit to uncommit'

Sometimes being with people is the same as being alone... only difference is that it's noisier. Shit. Why are pure intentions met by superficial ones? Are words merely enunciations with no attached meanings? Madaming nagagalit sakin pag hindi ako nagsasalita, wala daw kasi akong 'cooperation'. It may be so, however when I do speak I say what I mean at the moment (I have the tendency to say stupid things when I am nervous, and I'm nervous most of the time). Even when I talk of nonsensical things, I really am being nonsensical. I take other people's words seriously, thinking that they too are being serious with me. The sad thing is that I can't take a hint when someone is just toying with me. I even got scolded once by my parents for being too trustful. The world is full of opportunists who are willing to do just anything (good or bad) to get what they want, even if they have put innocent people at risk. This is the game the world plays; you have to play along if you want to live.

Man... all of this blabber just for unreciprocated thoughts.

 one of those nights when a selfie can be forgiven

#disillusionedidealist

In a vast silent moonlit sea

With waters still as summertide

On the horizon it is you I see

Sitting on a boat, all else abide

Shouting your name but words fail me

Fervent sentiments by ego denied

In a vast silent moonlit sea

With waters still as summertide

By the shore helpless as I can be

A futile steadfast gaze from behind

On the horizon it is you I see

Sitting on a boat, all else abide

To the lorn water my heart I set free

May your craft be stirred be it very mild

In a vast silent moonlit sea

With waters still as summertide

On the horizon it is you I see

Sitting on a boat, all else abide

ba da ba da da da da da da

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UYTLIdjSyc

What's more to come?

Measles by the end of the 2013 and dengue fever by the start of 2014. Then come early February when I experienced pain in the back and lower extremities that prompted me to undertake two ultrasound tests and one CT stonogram. Luckily, everything's normal for now and I only need to do some monitoring. Add to that the pain I feel somewhere within my pericardial cavity... well, figuratively.

My only consolation was the free consultation from my doctor.   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQ5upDOP9JI

awit ng sisne

sa anim na libong bundok
nitong tinatahak ng
hibang na saloobin
hanggan saan kaya ang nararating?

damdamin kaya sa hininga
ay kinakapos din?
unti-unting nananamlay
mitsa ng oras ang kaaway

isang suntok sa buwan
wari ay hiyaw sa kawalan
makaririnig pa kaya
ng alingawngaw ng ipinagsisigawan?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB6l4i-zA_Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_lJPUKTchI

candy crush

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtH02InlKP4

HE human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;--
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.
Read more at http://www.poetry-archive.com/b/evening_solace.html#MOzOQvUzWLBH0WZl.99

 "The human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;­
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed..."

 - Charlotte Brontë, Evening Solace

HE human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;--
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.
Read more at http://www.poetry-archive.com/b/evening_solace.html#MOzOQvUzWLBH0WZl.99

HE human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;--
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.
Read more at http://www.poetry-archive.com/b/evening_solace.html#MOzOQvUzWLBH0WZl.99

HE human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;--
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.
Read more at http://www.poetry-archive.com/b/evening_solace.html#MOzOQvUzWLBH0WZl.99

http://www.metahistory.org/images/fiddlehead.jpg

Tears are falling

But it feels nothing

My body’s all numb

Or is it that I’m dumb

I just want to go back

To a room without a clock

ang apoy sa mga mata'y matamlay na
wala nang mailuluha pang esperma
mitsa ng diwa'y upod na upod
kaunting ihip pa't sa dilim malulunod

pharmazoned

bakit ganoon nanaman? ako ba'y sadyang walang pag-asa sa iyo?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UskkwKmccGU

Oh Pharma... 

How I love you so much

Please love me back

Please, please...

And I'll be dancing with you the whole night

To the the sweet music

Of antibiotics, anti-fungals, and anti-virals

I need, I need your love!

wear 'em as you please

no wonder why I'm like this, it all starts young...

 

a game of chance

walking on thin ice
should one walk on still?
for when the ice
beneath the feet brakes
what was shattered
will never be mended
a wound that will no longer heal
holding on to a gossamer of hope
that plunging in the cold water
would numb the body
to the point of feeling warm
should one walk on still?
or should one risk no further?

Oh so love!

this rose of mine can never be subdued
in its pot ever is it restless
in its bed never does it brood   
its petals pierce the heavens
and its roots penetrate the earth
making wonders as it leavens
even the faintest stroke of mirth 

lesser than a blade of grass

 http://www.waterytimes.com/Images/8/GrassSkyWallpapers3.jpg

bearing the burden

and crippled
by the weight of earth
with a frail body
you stand unwavered
continuously reaching
stretching your arms
towards the endless sky

why am I so weak? my heart falters and I cannot speak.

Buwagin and bulok na sistema

http://manilamommy.com/maring-napoles-pork-barrel/

puddles

a gentle voice
within this tempestuous rain
only felt and never heard
touches those
who's hearts are void
faceless beings,
forsaken, for nought
whom once also dreamt
and dared

a gentle voice
within this tempestuous rain
only felt and never heard
giving hope
to those whose
faith have waned
that even if
there maybe no rainbows
in a world of shadows
after a rain

still...
there are
pieces of heaven
found on earth
once the sky clears
and the stars reflect
their light 

100th

yet.

"Na kaya nawalá'y dinatnan ng sigwâ
Ang lunday sa lawà noóng dakong una." -Rizal

Nasaan na kaya ngayon ang kuwintas ni Maria Clara?

22

As to when and where, I'm eager to know. Though this maybe, I can't avoid being downright oblivious. I always find myself turning a blind eye to everything, may it be right or wrong. I tip my hat off to Ditto Sarmiento.

"Kung hindi tayo kikilos, sino ang kikilos? Kung di tayo kikibo, sino ang kikibo? Kung hindi ngayon, kailan pa?"

"Miserable being must find more miserable being. Then he is happy." (not sure if really from Gorky's The Lower Depths as quoted in the movie Lady and the Tramp)

X kasi

I thought that my first year in medicine would end with a solid dot. Ngunit dahil sa taglay kong dugong 'X', akala ko nga lang talaga yun. To think that I would be called upon by our professor to recite in class... last class session na nga namin yun natawag pa ko. Sa buong taon, noon lang talaga ako natawag. I even don't know the answer to the question, which by the way was really easy and basic (on the peripheral pulses). For some reason I was nonchalant about it, maybe because I don't know the answer and I can just admit it. What made me nervous was the remark... 'kung meron na daw ba akong kaibigan.' WOW! IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS. IN MICROPHONE!

----------------------------

But then again... after the sun, then came the shadow. Sana napansin ni crimson fist. 

Henshin!

http://www.japan-legend.com/wiki/images/6/63/Kr_black.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9O9WMaMg6E

Kung pagbibigyan lang din ako ng pagkakataon, gusto kong maging isang kamen rider. Siyempre, secret identity dapat yun saka dapat may mga kalaban ako na mga kampon ng kadiliman. Sa totoo lang, kapag medyo inaantok ako sa mga lecture sa klase, iniisip ko na biglang may lalabas na mga halimaw sa may tabi ng lecturer (yung biglang sasabog yung pader sa harap tapos uusok...). Yun! Chance! Biglang magkakagulo sa room pero di muna ako magtratransform... maghihintay muna ako ng ilang sandali, baka kasi sakaling meron pang ibang kamen rider bukod sa akin sa mga classmates ko at kung meron man, siya na bahala. Kung ako lang talaga... HENSHIN!

Sana lang after henshin, may power boost at skill boost, wala naman kasi akong alam sa martial arts. Siguro naman di ako agad lulusubin ng kalaban habang ginagawa ko yung ritual ng pagtratransform, standard rule na yun sa lahat ng hero transformations. May background music din dapat para ganahan ako.

Problema nga din pala yung pagliligpit nung kalaban pag natalo na... Ok kung bigla nalang magalalaho yung katawan nila pag natalo sila.

Di din dapat mawala yung love interest ng tagapagtanggol. Importante yun, dapat may inspiration.
-----------------------------------
Mahihirapan nga din pala ako sa pagaaral kung araw araw ay may lilitaw na kalaban. Mainam kung once a week lang (ganun din naman yung sa tv, once a week lang pinapalabas) saka kung lilitaw sila kung nasaan ako. Di pa naman ako marunong pumunta sa ibang lugar maliban na lang kung sa school at dorm. Kapag uuwi ako sa probinsya para sa bakasyon, may ceasefire din dapat. Di kasi ako mahilig lumabas ng bahay. Saka kailangan din naman ng bakasyon ng mga halimaw. 

taking the longer route

From up I went down

Then I went back halfway

Walked a few steps diagonally up

Then got back

Just to walk a few steps diagonally down

I slept

From down I went up

Walked to the right

Went back

Walked down halfway

Walked to the right

Then back again

Went back where I started

And walked to the right

I slept

Once again I went up

Walked down diagonally

Then up again

I slept

Only on the fourth day

Did I realize

That  walking in a path

Of an inverted triangle

With a base of a Double arch

Would mean just the same