still a lock without a key

Sunday, October 7, 2012
It's kinda frustrating that things are still the same for me. Though I'm already realizing my dream of becoming a doctor in DLSHSI, I still feel unsure about a lot of things. Maybe its because that I'm pushing myself somehow, like having one foot on the dock and the other on the boat. It's just that I think haven't matured yet (?), that I still am lacking something that is crucial for the situation I am in right now. Honestly, I'm aware of what's wrong with me but I just keep on denying it. If I don't do something about it I'll surely end up making the same mistake I did back in high school and college. But how can I solve things up if I still don't have an answer to my problem? Should I make an answer for myself rather than seek it? But that would be hard...

 I'm sick of this. Gosh, I hate myself.                

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